Online Dating Opinion-ation

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Recently I decided to try my hand at online dating. I know. I know. While not much dating has been going on, there has been some communication.

My plan is this…communicate with those who have a high match percentage and then, only those that have photographs. Let’s be honest…stranger danger is an important consideration. You have to place a reasonable amount of trust in the process and in your potential matches. If you can’t trust the process enough to add a photo, then it usually means there is something to hide. Not the something like you are secretly George Clooney but something like a little gold band around your fourth finger to the left.

Once communication has begun, then I give it a fair shot to see how engaging they are in conversation. I’m naturally very inquisitive and therefore purposely ask open ended questions. If the answers are closed or they never ask a question of me then it indicates the intent is simply not there on their side or they are just very private making it next to impossible to learn about them.

Very select few…maybe less than few will get my email address to communicate with outside of the site. From there a precious few may get my phone number or I agree to meet. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, however I do not see a reason to just go on a slew of dates. I would rather use a vetting process and narrow the field to just the seemingly viable candidates.

Recently a man with whom I had been messaging with, asked my thoughts on a few issues. I shared freely, albeit diplomatically. He then proceeded to tell me that I am an “opinionated woman.” Ummmm…is that a bad thing?

The thoughts, beliefs and ideas I have are based upon firsthand personal experience and are adhered to out of a confidence in understanding my innermost needs and desires. I don’t challenge others as much as I try to understand their ideas and feelings.

While I admit to being mildly stubborn it only usually pertains to me and my personal doggedness about getting things done.

I’m reasonably open minded and it’s important to me that I take into consideration others thoughts and ideas and show respect to those who share them with me.

So I pose the question…is a strong, capable, confident, self-aware woman the same as an opinionated woman? To that I reply with a very opinionated Pffft! ❤

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A Mother’s Day message

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As a daughter, I thought or rather knew that I knew more than my mom. As a mother, I realize that I am far from figuring it all out but thankful for each new day. Regardless of your relationship with your mother, know this…being a mother is harder than you may think. It’s my greatest challenge and the most incredibly fulfilling role (I shun using “job”) that I have ever had. It’s different than any other relationship because there isn’t any rule book. Sure there are social expectations and societal beliefs but it’s really just you making things up as you go along. Being a mother isn’t all rainbows and fuzzy hugs. It isn’t for every woman and kudos to those of you who know in advance that you don’t want it and take precautions to ensure it doesn’t happen. That’s far more respectable than throwing caution to the wind. Being a mother is knowing that you fail and will continue to fail. It’s accepting that failure and forging ahead as if you are going to prove yourself wrong! It’s doubting yourself and cheering for yourself over the little victories like first steps and first potty poos and first kisses and best of all when your kid is laughing uncontrollably in that way that makes you want to cry tears of joy because just maybe you got something right. Being a mother is hope that you’ll do better tomorrow. It is sacrificing bits of yourself to give something to someone who may not realize the sacrifice or ever understand it or even appreciate it. Being a mother is a lesson in love. When you feel those squishy kisses on your cheeks or sticky hands in your hair or the casual unsolicited hug of a teenager, you realize that love truly is medicine; it heals doubts and wipes away mistakes. Being a mother is chipping pieces of your heart and soul off each day and sending it out the door hoping it will grow into an oak. We have mothers who literally gave us life and mothers who taught us how to give love. So today please show honor to anyone in your life who mothered you in some small way. Say a prayer for them and hold them dear in your thoughts for they helped make the YOU that is you. ❤